As I was at the local Christian bookstore in the greeting card aisle, I overhead a conversation between a young girl and her mother. The girl, about 5 or 6, stated to her mother, "I want to give away Jasmine." This statement caused her mother to pause for a moment, before replying, "Your NEW Jasmine doll?? The one you JUST got for your birthday??" The child seemed puzzled as to why her mother was asking these questions, but replied with assurance, "Yes!" At this point, I was eager to hear the mother's reply.
"But you just got that doll. Your aunt gave that to you. I was thinking you could give away some of your old toys...your baby toys, not your new toys. You love Jasmine."
As I begin to share my thoughts on this, please know I do not condemn this mother, because I could have easily been in her shoes. In fact, I think the mother's response was the human response, the way all of us naturally want to respond.
The mother and daughter walked out of my ear's range, so I did not hear or see how the daughter responded. However, this conversation really had an impact on me, and even a week later, I continue to think about it. It reminded me immediately of the woman who poured her perfume over Jesus' feet (a story shared in 3 of the 4 gospels). The disciples were frustrated, even angry, by this woman's actions. Why did she waste such money on such expensive perfume? She could have helped the poor! Besides, who did this woman think she was, coming up to Jesus like that! In the same way, this mother could not accept that her daughter selflessly wanted to give away her Jasmine doll. It wasn't because she didn't love this new doll she was given; in fact, I believe it was because she loved this doll so much that she wanted to give it away. Yet her mother was resistant. It could be because she was worried the aunt might find out the doll was given away. Or she was worried her daughter might change her mind, and did not want to risk having to buy a new doll. Or maybe it was a bit deeper than that. Could it be she was uncomfortable that her daughter was willing to sacrifice something as dear to her as Jasmine?? What would the mother's equivalent be? Her new outfit? Her jewelry? Her car? Maybe she couldn't bear to donate the almost new Jasmine doll along with her out-dated, thoroughly used clothes. All of this is speculation, of course, but it really got me to thinking.
What is my Jasmine doll? And would I give it away?? As Christians, we can be the worst hypocrites. We love to take about sacrifice and being generous, yet most of us have made it into an equation, a line-item in our budget, a tax deduction. When is the last time we gave away something we actually liked? Or something we actually needed? When is the last time we "gave until it hurt"? Isn't that what sacrifice is?
Now that I am making a sizable income, I really fight between wanting to give away every penny and trying to be "financially responsible." It can be a fine line sometimes...God gave us wisdom and knowledge for a reason, but I also believe he wants us to "give until it hurts." And giving is so much broader than the box we put it in! It's not just donating to charities once a month or participating in a food drive at the holidays. It's giving of our time...it's calling that friend who always has drama in their life and just listening. It's giving of our money...not just picking and choosing what we feel like giving to, but asking God to lead us to opportunities. It's giving of our resources....no it is not bad to give away our old clothes, but sometimes I think there is so much more we could do with our homes and our possessions...maybe having more people over or letting people borrow things...knowing they may mess them up or forget to give them back.
As I just started a nonprofit, I am both excited and reluctant about the aspect of fundraising. I have never been afraid to talk about causes I am passionate about and asking people to consider being involved. However, now that the cause is one that I specifically started, I do feel a bigger sense of insecurity. I am a firm believer that God will move people's hearts to be generous. It is not my place to tell people that they need to give money to a specific organization or that they can afford to give more. I was not called to raise money; I was called to share stories about Kenya and provide a way for people to be involved, should they so chose. One thing that I have realized this week is that I don't want my giving to be exclusive to Imani Care International. I still want to be involved in other people's passions and ministries. And I am so excited and so blessed to have the resources at this point in my life to do so.
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