Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Quality of Life
Albert Einsten once said, "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
Although it is the 6th week of school, I feel like yesterday was one of the only days I could find true meaning in what I was doing. For my community health experience, I have had the opportunity to be involved in home hospice care. It is very humbling and somewhat upsetting to go into a person's home who you know has approximately 6 months or left to live. For me, I very much enjoy the opportunity to get to talk to someone and physically be present during a very hard time for the patient and the family- the thing that upsets me more is knowing that I won't get to go back. That I cannot continue to get to know them, to learn about their life, to pray for them...all the things that I feel that God has given me a gift for. But I still really cherished the time I spent with the patients yesterday.
One lady was a former ballet dancer and writer. She had a beautiful home, full of items collected from a lifetime of adventure. I just could imagine that every figurine, every black and white photograph, every book has a story...and I just wanted to know it all....to hear it all. I just felt my heart connect with this beautiful women...she really was stunning, even though she is getting close to the end. Another woman living in an adult family home told me all about her love of shopping at consignment stores and just the thrill of getting to go out and do that. She expressed her sadness over having to move out of and sell her home....and I really could see her pain and how badly she wanted to live independently again. I could have sat there and talked with her all day....
I am not sure what to make of all this. I really felt sad and emotional on my drive home...but really because I just wished I could play a more significant role in their end of life care. I think I really would enjoy hospice...but I don't know if I emotionally would be able to do it...a lot of people seem like they have just come to accept that death is a frequent part of their job. And it's not even a cold-hearted emotion, just more matter of fact...everyone dies and as a hospice worker, you get to make sure it is the best it possibly can be. But I feel like every life is so precious and I don't know if I would be able to let people go so easily without taking on all of the emotions... Plus everyone keeps saying you have to work in med-surg before you can do home care and honestly I would rather not be a nurse than have to work ing med-surg....
So I just need to cherish the precious moments I had yesterday and try to continue to find meaning. I know working in Kenya is going to involve end of life care and I think in a lot of ways, Kenyans are more at peace with death than most of us are. Partially because it is so much more frequent...but also because I really think they have faith that a life with our Heavenly Father really is going to be so much better than anything we experience here on this Earth.
Life is so precious...
Although it is the 6th week of school, I feel like yesterday was one of the only days I could find true meaning in what I was doing. For my community health experience, I have had the opportunity to be involved in home hospice care. It is very humbling and somewhat upsetting to go into a person's home who you know has approximately 6 months or left to live. For me, I very much enjoy the opportunity to get to talk to someone and physically be present during a very hard time for the patient and the family- the thing that upsets me more is knowing that I won't get to go back. That I cannot continue to get to know them, to learn about their life, to pray for them...all the things that I feel that God has given me a gift for. But I still really cherished the time I spent with the patients yesterday.
One lady was a former ballet dancer and writer. She had a beautiful home, full of items collected from a lifetime of adventure. I just could imagine that every figurine, every black and white photograph, every book has a story...and I just wanted to know it all....to hear it all. I just felt my heart connect with this beautiful women...she really was stunning, even though she is getting close to the end. Another woman living in an adult family home told me all about her love of shopping at consignment stores and just the thrill of getting to go out and do that. She expressed her sadness over having to move out of and sell her home....and I really could see her pain and how badly she wanted to live independently again. I could have sat there and talked with her all day....
I am not sure what to make of all this. I really felt sad and emotional on my drive home...but really because I just wished I could play a more significant role in their end of life care. I think I really would enjoy hospice...but I don't know if I emotionally would be able to do it...a lot of people seem like they have just come to accept that death is a frequent part of their job. And it's not even a cold-hearted emotion, just more matter of fact...everyone dies and as a hospice worker, you get to make sure it is the best it possibly can be. But I feel like every life is so precious and I don't know if I would be able to let people go so easily without taking on all of the emotions... Plus everyone keeps saying you have to work in med-surg before you can do home care and honestly I would rather not be a nurse than have to work ing med-surg....
So I just need to cherish the precious moments I had yesterday and try to continue to find meaning. I know working in Kenya is going to involve end of life care and I think in a lot of ways, Kenyans are more at peace with death than most of us are. Partially because it is so much more frequent...but also because I really think they have faith that a life with our Heavenly Father really is going to be so much better than anything we experience here on this Earth.
Life is so precious...
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