Bulletproof Vest

Have you ever considered purchasing a bulletproof vest???

Not the question you expect to be asked while opening your mail at the post office. 

It all started because I was wearing my Imani shirt.  I find this funny, because I often joke that wearing an Imani t-shirt is my “uniform” for the days when I am not working at the hospital.  I worked last night, napped today, got up, showered, and put on my Imani shirt, the black one that says “DREAM BIG” on the front, and has our logo on the back.  I went to the post office to check Imani’s PO box, and was standing at the counter, opening the mail.

A middle-aged man walked behind me, and stopped to ask me about my shirt.  I gave a brief explanation of what Imani is and what we do, my elevator speech so to speak.  He proceeded to share about his connections to Kenya, and began to ask more questions.  Each question I answered seemed to lend itself to a follow-up question.

Why Kenya?  When did you first go there?  So you fell in love with Africa?  Where did you go to nursing school?  Do you know my cousin’s wife Carol Redfield (which I actually do – she was one of my nursing professors)?  Are you aware of the current issues going on in the country?  Is Kenya safe? 

And then…

Have you ever considered purchasing a bulletproof vest?

I smiled, maybe even smirked a little bit, and said no.  And here’s where things got a bit interesting.

His follow-up question:

Do you look both ways before you cross the street? 

             

Yes, I do.

So why would you not take the proper precautions when you are in a country where you are a direct target and the vest could save your life?

I won’t try and recall word for word the rest of our 30 minute conversation.  I also want to say that this man was well-educated, articulate, and respectful.  However, things definitely got a bit heated.  Here’s a bit of a window into some of the things we discussed, and why I walked away from the interaction with peace and blessed assurance.

Is Kenya safe?

I think this is a topic I have touched on a little bit.  My first response is generally, “well, it depends on who you ask.”  It also depends on what your definition of safety is.  I have never felt afraid to travel to Kenya.  I cannot fully explain why that is, and despite what this man bluntly called “my naivety,” I can only attribute this absence of fear to God.  I know there are terrorist attacks.  I know that being an American Christian female does increase my risks.   But there are always risks.  Some you actively choose – like driving a car, and others just happen – like getting diagnosed with cancer.  It was such a powerful reminder to me that safety is not a guarantee in this life when I arrived in Nairobi last June, and the very first thing I read on my phone was a text message about the shooting at SPU, my alma mater.  What a sobering moment of realizing that on that day, the place I had lived, attended classes, and considered a home, a private school in a nice neighborhood, was more dangerous than being half way across the world in East Africa. 

Have you ever considered purchasing a bulletproof vest, knowing the risks you are encountering?

I shared that if I felt I needed a bulletproof vest to travel to Kenya, I would never go in the first place.  I also said that my faith in God was my bulletproof vest, which I was subsequently told was “blind faith.”  This man proceeded to share several stories, which he felt exhibited the problems with having total faith in God, and not using reason or wisdom.  One example was people who do not take any medications and refuse all treatment when they are sick.  (I think he knew as a nurse I wouldn't be able to argue that one!!)  He compared me to a child who does not know the dangers of the world, who would run in the street into traffic, unaware of the realities of danger and death.  He also told me that there are groups of people out there just waiting to capture or attack people like me. 

In some ways, he is right.  God says that we should emulate the faith of a child.  "Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it."  Luke 18:17 ESV

And yes, there are most definitely people out there who want to hurt others.  Yet I am fully aware of the realities of death.  Part of my job includes taking care of children who are dying.  And I do believe that God works in all sorts of ways – through medicine, through common sense, through the wisdom of others, but He also clearly asks us to exhibit faith and to not store our treasures here on Earth.

It’s like the boy scouts – Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.  Maybe our paths crossed today so that you could think about whether you are taking the proper precautions and making adequate preparations.

Anyone who knows me (and granted, this gentleman does not know me beyond this encounter) would say I am someone who prepares.  I like plans.  I like to know things ahead of time.  I am also very aware of how my personality can prevent me from fully engaging in a trusting relationship with Christ.  It is an ongoing struggle for me to surrender my plans, my ways, and to fully rely on God.  I am the person in the group project that would so much rather just do it all myself, than to have to rely on someone else. 

I realize now that I never told him that Imani means faith.  Faith to me is believing in something without having the 100% satisfaction, money-back  guarantee.  Faith is not contingent on our circumstances or whether things turn out the way we want them to.  I believe that God is always present and at work in the world.  I trust that as I walk closely with Him, He will guide my steps, yet ultimately I will still be the one walking.  Sometimes when you are at a crossroads, you know for certain which road to take, and other times, I think God leaves decisions in our hands, continuing to be a part of our journeys no matter which path we take.

So my post-post office conversation thoughts….

1. Traveling to Kenya is a risk I am fully willing to take because God continues to put that call on my heart.  I have always experienced complete peace that whatever happens during my travels, I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  If I were going to die for something, it would be spending time in Kenya with people I love and care about.

2. I don’t want anything bad to happen.  I don’t think anyone really does.  I tend to be a scaredy cat.  It takes a lot for me to even want to jump off a diving board!  But I do not want my life to be dictated by fear.  I know this life has no guarantees, and the only safety I can count on is that life on Earth is only a small part of our story.

3. Safety and security is not the same as peace.  I do not believe God always promises safety, but He does promise peace and His continued presence.

And lastly….where would one even buy this bulletproof vest :)